


You gotta keep on keeping on

by xKobra_Kid



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Brendon is dumb, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, M/M, Mormonism, like a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:36:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7522225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xKobra_Kid/pseuds/xKobra_Kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dallon’s phone rang waking him up. He searched for it on his nightstand and when he found it, he grunted seeing Brendon’s name on the display. He answered with a sleepy voice and he’s friend- well, kind of- asked him if he was free, because he wanted him to go to his house. Dallon muttered a “fuck off” and he hang up, hiding his head under his pillow, trying to sleep and to forget Brendon’s call. He had put the word “end” to their friends with benefits relationship, he had had to do that when he had understood that he was infatuated of him. <br/>Brendon didn’t ask why, he believed that he had found someone and he was okay with it, he didn’t want to make Dallon a cheater. The problem was that he couldn’t say no to his necessities, Dallon was too perfect during sex and his body missed his touch, so he tried to call him and fix an appointment, but Dallon hang up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You gotta keep on keeping on

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya guys! Here I am with a Brallon fan-fic.
> 
> I'm so happy about this, I always wanted to post something about my two lil' beans. So I found a lot of guts and I wrote this little thing, I hope yo'll enjoy this!
> 
> English isn't my first Language so if you catch a mistake please let me know and I'll fix it ASAP.

Dallon’s phone rang waking him up. He searched for it on his nightstand and when he found it, he grunted seeing Brendon’s name on the display. He answered with a sleepy voice and he’s friend- well, kind of- asked him if he was free, because he wanted him to go to his house. Dallon muttered a “fuck off” and he hang up, hiding his head under his pillow, trying to sleep and to forget Brendon’s call. He had put the word “end” to their friends with benefits relationship, he had had to do that when he had understood that he was infatuated of him.

Brendon didn’t ask why, he believed that he had found someone and he was okay with it, he didn’t want to make Dallon a cheater. The problem was that he couldn’t say no to his necessities, Dallon was too perfect during sex and his body missed his touch, so he tried to call him and fix an appointment, but Dallon hang up. He understood his decision, but he didn’t agree with it. Dallon knew that, so he stood up and dressed himself quickly, putting his best jeans on and one of his favourite t-shirt.

He took his car’s keys and he said goodbye to his mom, saying to her that he was going to spend the day at Brendon’s; she asked him if he needed something but he shook his head, kissing her cheek and running out of the house, jumping inside his car and starting to drive carefully in the sunny Saturday morning. He didn’t want to do that, but he couldn’t say no to Brendon. He just couldn’t and he was ashamed of his behaviour. He hated it, he hated himself, he hated Brendon. God, he felt so miserable when he entered the driveway of Brendon’s house.

They had met each other during a rainy day. Dallon had taken the wrong way, he had been travelling around the town for almost two hours before he had found Brendon, who had stopped him and asked him if he had needed help; he had said yes and the unknown guy had told him the faster way for his destination. Dallon had questioned him if he needed a ride, and Brendon had nodded, thanking him and giving him the instruction. They had ended with having sex on Brendon’s couch.

Dallon remembered when he had woke up in his arms, he had freaked out and he had almost kicked Brendon’s balls, but then he had just calmed down when he had felt his hands on his shoulders. They had shared soft kisses and Dallon had gone back to his house. He had seen him at school, they had had a lot of lunches together and they had begun to be friend, sharing a lot of afternoons and nights but they had been fuck-buddies, nothing more and nothing less. But when his heart had started to ache at the thought of Brendon with someone else, he decided to stop it even if he suffered for months about his decision.

He looked at Brendon’s door and doorbell, he didn’t know if he should go out and push it or if he should go back, but he found himself on his porch, with his index pressed against the doorbell and after few seconds he felt two strong pair of arms around his waist, hugging him tightly and feeling his chest aching, but he smiled . He let Brendon kiss his mouth and he didn’t make a move, he held his breath and he walked in his house with his eyes almost closed, he didn’t want to be there but at the same time he wanted to because, having sex with Brendon, that was the only way to feel him his, just a bit.

“So you’re here,”, Brendon said kissing his jaw, shoving a hand under his t-shirt, “fortunately the bed is still warm.”

“No, Brendon, stop.”, he pushed him off of him and the other cocked an eyebrow, “I’m here to talk, okay? No sex, no kiss, just a fucking talk.”, he sat down on the couch.

“Talk about what?”, he purred in his ear, pressing his forehead against his shoulder.

“About this! You can’t just call me and ask me if I wanna fuck, I can’t do it okay? I can’t.”, he pushed him away and he stood up, eyeing him with sad eyes, “Why can’t you understand?”

“If you can’t do this, why are you here then?”, Brendon took his hand and he pulled him in a tight embrace, pressing his face against his stomach because he was still sitting on the couch, “You want this too, don’t lie to me.”

*

When he woke up again, he found Brendon wrapped around his body, their legs tangled and they were holding their hands. He tried to escape from his arms but Brendon groaned and rolled on his chest, rubbing his face against his skin, mumbling and opening his mouth, letting out a deep breath. Dallon closed his eyes and kissed the top of his head, he held him tightly and Brendon smiled, yawning and murmuring his name, making Dallon’s heart fly and race. After few moments he rolled on his back, Dallon sat up and looked at him, he stood up slowly and he started to dress up.

He closed the room’s door and he went downstairs. He decided to make a delicious breakfast for them and he took some time for his thoughts, because- crap, crap, crap- he had left his feelings win and he felt frustrated. He hated himself in that moment, he was so weak sometimes and he couldn’t end something that was hurting him. Of course Brendon didn’t give a fuck about it, of course he didn’t want to be something more for him. Plus Dallon was a Mormon boy and he shouldn’t have sex before marriage and he was having sex with a guy. A damn guy.

Brendon absolutely didn’t care that he was a Mormon guy who was keeping a bad behaviour in front of God. Brendon was raised as a Mormon too, but he had stopped to believe in God long time before and Dallon had tried to understand it. Brendon hated the fact that sometimes Dallon felt guilt about what he was doing with him, but Dallon couldn’t stop what he had with Brendon, he wanted to but he wasn’t strong enough. He was so stupid sometimes.

He decided to make a coffee with a bit of milk in it. He made some pancakes for them and he sat down, watching the clock in the kitchen and sighing, rubbing his face and taking a sip of his black coffee. Brendon showed up after a quarter of hours, he was wearing a large tank top and a pair of clean boxer. He sat down mumbling a “thank you” with a sleepy voice, eating his pancakes and drinking his hot coffee.

“I should go back.”, Dallon muttered standing up and putting the dirty cup and the dish in the kitchen sink, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You can stay here for a bit, if you want.”

“I do not want to.”

*

Dallon was lying in his bed and he was trying to study for his Biology test. He was absorbed by the book and he didn’t noticed the door bell ring and he didn’t hear his mom’s voice, he didn’t even see the door being opened and he realized that someone was in the room when he felt a strong pair of arm around his waist, while a soft pair of lips brushed his neck and a warm drop of water fell on his shoulders. He jerked and he look behind him, seeing Brendon’s hair and his forehead, but his face was hidden against his shirt.

“Why are you here?”, he sighed heavily and he closed his book.

“They kicked me out.”, he murmured quietly, sniffing and rubbing his cheeks against the cloth, “I’ve, I’ve told them that I’m an Atheist and that I’m well, you know. They kicked me out.”, his voice was broken and rough.

Dallon’s eyes got widened and he held Brendon tightly, he stroked his hair and his back, kissing the top of his head and ruffling his hair a bit. He smiled sadly and he saw a rucksack on the floor, full of personal effects. He pressed his whole face against his head and he caressed his neck, he felt some other drop of warm water on his chest and he realized that Brandon was crying with his face buried in his t-shirt. He held him tighter and he whispered to him to calm down, humming a relaxing song and feeling Brendon sobbing loudly, gripping his shirt and shaking violently.

“It’s alright Brendon, it’s alright. You’ll stay here, my mom love you.”, it was true because his mother thought that Brendon was a good influence for Dallon; if she only knew that his son was infatuated of that boy, “We’ll say to my parents that you are having trouble with your family, they’ll understand and they won’t ask you anything. Is that okay?”, Dallon was caressing his whole body and he heard a small “yeah”, muffled by a loud sob.

His heart ached while he was watching Brendon crash in his arms. He was younger than him- Brendon was just sixteen and he was eighteen- but sometimes he seemed older. In that moment he was like a baby and Dallon didn’t know what to do because he was so small and broken, he was a sobbing mess and his hands were gripping his t-shirt and his face was soaked by tears. He wasn’t the “cool guy” from his school anymore, he wasn’t the “sassy boy” anymore, he was just a human who was having an emotional breakdown.

Dallon held him and he convinced Brendon to lay down on his bed, but he didn’t let go the cloth of his shirt and Dallon was obliged to stay there with him, with his arms wrapped around him and his chin pressed against his head, feeling the tip of Brendon’s nose against his neck. He lulled him and he spoke softly about silly things, laughing and giggling, carrying Brendon in a peaceful sleep. His face was still wet and his eyes were red as a strawberry but he was beautiful like always. Dallon slapped him mentally, he was so stupid sometimes.

He closed his eyes and he hid his nose in Brendon’s hair, he sniffed his scent and he smile, peppering his forehead with soft kisses and caressing his cheeks. Brendon chuckled in his sleep and he snuggled, pressing his whole body against Dallon’s, opening his lips a bit and gripping tightly his t-shirt, rubbing his face on the soft cloth and shivering. Dallon kissed his head and he smiled, he felt his hot breath against his collarbone and, after few instants, he fell asleep with his face buried in Brendon’s hair and his hands on his back.

*

Brendon found himself in Dallon’s arm during the night. He yawned loudly and he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. He looked at the guy and sighed, thinking about the fact that maybe he had ruined his plans with his new boyfriend. He didn’t even know he was dating a girl or a boy, he only knew that he didn’t want to stop what he was having with him. He wasn’t made for a relationship, he thought so, but Dallon was such a good person and he couldn’t let him go; he didn’t care if the boy was cheating on his partner, he wanted him for himself and himself only. He was selfish, he knew that, but he couldn’t help it.

He hated what he was doing but he didn’t give a fuck. Dallon was too gorgeous and he was the best person in the world. Brendon watched him and he pressed a light kiss on his cheek, he rubbed his nose on his neck and he closed his eyes, hugging Dallon tightly and tangling their legs. He listened to the bumping of his heart and he enjoyed his warmth. He was still awake but he was relaxed and he was okay, even if his life had fell down just few hours before. Dallon had made everything better for him, for his life.

Dallon woke up, he grunted and he yawned loudly. He laid a hand on Brendon’s shoulders and he turned the light on, blinking twice and looking at Brendon. He smiled and he asked him if he was okay, receiving a small nod and a shy smile. Dallon frowned, there was something different in Brendon now, probably he was still thinking about what his family had done. He couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t believe that Brendon had came out to his parents.

“Do you wanna eat?”, Dallon asked yawning again.

“I’m not hungry, I just want to cuddle for a bit.”, he murmured with his eyes low, “Sorry if I ruined your plans with your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“My, wha- Oh, no, don’t worry, it’s okay.”, Dallon didn’t know why he was keeping to say that he was seeing someone, it hurt him say that because it wasn’t the truth but he couldn’t do anything else.

“I, I think tomorrow I’ll start to search another job and a small flat maybe. I don’t wanna bother you and your family.”, his voice was so soft that it seemed that he was whispering and Dallon started to concern about it, “ Thank you for let me stay here tonight.”

He was two tears ran down his cheeks and he shuddered because he couldn’t see Brendon like that: “You’ll live here with me and my family, and no “but”s.”, Brendon shook his head and Dallon hugged him tightly, stroking his back and kissing his neck, “Don’t cry Bren, you won’t need a new flat, okay?”

“But this is your last year here, you are going to your stupid college and what, what will I do?”, he said with a stubborn tone, drying his eyes.

“My college is in town, plus my aunt is moving and she wants to give me her apartment. We could live there, it isn’t big but it’s enough for two persons.”, Dallon held him and Brendon snuggled in his arms with his eyes closed and a small smile on his face, “Trust me, we’ll be happy and you’ll get better, okay?”, Brendon nodded and he let out a small sob.

Dallon gulped, he couldn’t believe that he had asked to Brendon to live with him. He was so stupid, so stupid.

*

Brendon slept for almost five hours while Dallon cuddled him with a bored expression on his face. He didn’t finish to study for the Biology’s test and he wasn’t scared, he was just frustrate because he was going to get a B or a D and not an A like always; his parents would be so pissed off. Brendon was snoring happily on him and Dallon was trying to read something on his book, but his attention was only for the sleeping boy and soon the book fell on the carpet. He hugged him sweetly and Brendon moaned softly, nuzzling his neck.

He watched the sky through his window, the sunrise was shining and the clock signed that it was just 5:30 a.m., he still had thirty minutes before he had to wake Brendon up, making breakfast and go to school with his car. He didn’t know what he will do during that thirty minutes, Brendon giggled in his sleep and he searched Dallon’s body with his own, he chuckled a bit and he pressed a soft kiss on his t-shirt, making Dallon blink.

He sighed and he pushed Brendon away, he sat up and he rubbed his face, yawning and deciding that didn’t want to stay in that bed anymore. He stood up and he opened the closet, he took his usual black shirt and a pair of trousers, clean socks and a jacket that matched the trousers. He dressed up quickly and he eyed the boy in his bed, he walked out and he closed the door silently, going downstairs and finding his mom in the living room, ready to go to work.

“Have Brendon slept here?”, she asked watching him smiling.

“Yes, he’s still sleeping.”, she nodded and she looked at him curiously, “Can I ask you something? Brendon is not, well uhm, he’s having trouble with his family and I was wondering if he could stay here for like, these last months of school?”

She watched him sceptically, she hummed twice and then she sighed: “Yeah, yeah he’s a good guy, I like him.”, she opened the front door and she stepped outside, “Ah! And where is he going to live when you’ll finish this school year?”

“He will live with me, as housemate you know, splitting the bills and the groceries, stuff like that.”, she nodded and he smiled embarrassed, stroking the back of his head, “See you tonight, mom.”

He closed the door and he saw Brendon on the stairs. His hair was a complete mess and his eyes were still almost closed, he muttered a “good morning” and he hugged Dallon tightly, rubbing his cheek against his chest. Dallon patted his back and he asked him if he was hungry, receiving a quick nod as response and a big smile. He didn’t know what was going on inside Brendon’s head but he was sure that it wasn’t something bad. He seemed a little bit happier than the day before and Dallon’s heart was bumping quickly in his chest, his smile was like a bright light in the dark.

Brendon looked at him and he felt his breath became faster. It was a new kind of feeling, he didn’t know what it was but it felt okay even if it hurt a bit. He was happy there with Dallon, he was keeping his life together and Brendon was glad that he had found him. He wasn’t his boyfriend or something, he knew that, but sometimes they seemed a couple and Brendon wondered how it would be.

*

The last months of school had gone in too less time, Dallon and Brendon was still fuck but they weren’t boyfriend or anything. Brendon thought that Dallon had left his old girlfriend because he wasn’t really interested in her, he had been so happy when he found out that he was single again. He had tried to cheer him up, bringing him to some random pubs but Dallon didn’t enjoy it and he hated alcoholic drinks.

Brendon forgot sometimes that he was a good Mormon and he did believe in God, he wasn’t like him. Dallon believed and he didn’t care that Brendon was an atheist, he was in love with him- yeah, yeah he was and he had tried several times to kill his feelings- and he didn’t give a fuck about his behaviour. He was just happy to have him around even if it was the most painful thing in the world: seeing and living with the person that you love every day. It hurt, it hurt too much.

“Dallon aren’t you excited? You’ll start the collage in three months!”, Brendon screamed while they were packing their things.

“Yeah, yeah I am.”, he mumbled putting his books in a box, “Are you happy that we’re moving out?”, Brendon nodded and he hugged him quickly, patting his back and kissing his cheek, “C’mon, my mom is waiting for us.”, he stood up and he took his last box, “Hurry up!”

Brendon took his last things and they ran into the car. He couldn’t wait anymore, he was so happy and glad that Dallon had decided to let him stay with him in his house. He looked at the street outside the car and he felt Dallon’s left tight brush against his right hand, he placed it on his knee and he smiled, squeezing it and resting his head on the window. He listened to Dallon’s mom and he hummed in response, too tired and too excited to speak.

He stayed quiet and he watched Dallon for a bit, he felt his cheeks became pink and he lowered his head, biting his lips hardly, tasting blood after minutes of chewing. Dallon slapped his arm strictly and Brendon mumbled an apology, pressing his forehead against his shoulder and gripping his knee with a trembling hand. He shivered and he crawled near him, hugging Dallon and closing his eyes and breathing heavily. He was scared, really scared because everything was new and he didn’t know what he had to do.

“Guys, here we are.”

Dallon opened the door and Brendon did the same, taking their last boxes and walking slowly to their new house. Dallon opened the main door and Brendon followed him while Dallon’s mother was going around the whole apartment, commenting how wrong was the position of the sofa and how fancy the book shelves were. She smiled and she caressed their hair, ruffling them and squeezing their cheeks. Brendon thanked her and he hugged her shyly, Dallon did the same and they ended it with a loud laugh. The woman stepped back until she found the door, she sighed and her eyes became watery.

“Well, that’s it boys. This is your house.”

*

Dallon had managed to make two bedrooms- one for him and one for Brendon-, they were perfect and tidy. His room was full of his old things, his bass was in a corner and his ukulele was hanging on a wall. His closet was near the window and his bed was in centre of the room, every morning the sun woke him up gently and he couldn’t ask for better.

Brendon’s room was few feet away from his. It was as large as the other, there were a lot of band posters on the walls, school books were lying on a desk covered in dust. His closet was a little bit bigger than Dallon’s and the bed was smaller, but Brendon didn’t want a big one because he was too lazy to make it every morning.

There was a “music room”, sort of, with a white piano, two guitars and a drums set; Brendon had decided to move it there because he wanted all of his things in the new apartment. His parents had been happy to see him again, of course, but it hadn’t been like before. Anyway he had set his stuff in the house with Dallon’s help and the whole flat was perfect for the two of them. After a week alone there, they were perfectly coordinated and their lives were pretty fine.

Brendon hadn’t gone one single time in Dallon’s room and he had kept his hands in his pockets, he hadn’t tried to kiss him or to sleep with him, he had stayed quiet and Dallon was suspicious because if Brendon was calm then he was pondering about something huge. Sometimes his ideas were great and sometimes they were the worst things in the whole world; more than once he had risked to go in jail and more than once Dallon had experiment the word “worried as fuck”. He couldn’t do anything to stop him, Brendon was a hurricane and a dangerous one, it was a problem but his hyperactivity had always been a delicate button in Brendon’s life. He didn’t like to talk about it and Dallon never asked. He didn’t care.

But that afternoon while Dallon was loading the dishwasher and trying to do the laundry, Brendon broke two glasses and a dish because his hands were trembling. Dallon looked at him with a worried face but he just shook his head and he knelt on the ground, starting to pick the bigger pieces with his bare fingers even if Dallon was trying to push him away from the sharp pieces of glass. He ended with cutting his indexes and his right pinkie; Dallon was so angry.

He took the boy in the bathroom and he shushed him with a strict look, grabbing the first aid kit and caressing his hair. He held his hands and he sighed, Brendon mumbled and apology and Dallon shook his head, saying that he didn’t want to hear a single word. He was frustrated, sad and... he didn’t even know how he was feeling. He removed the almost invisible pieces of glass from the wounds and Brendon hissed in pain, biting his lips and squeezing his eyes. Dallon covered a small wad of cotton with hydrogen peroxide, pressing it gently on the wounds and removing the dry blood.

“What were you trying to do, exactly?”, he asked touching softly the wounds on the left index.

“I wanted to help, you seemed busy and-”

“What have I always said to you?”, Dallon asked putting a plaster on his index and starting to clean the wound on his pinkie, “Look at this.”, he mumbled and Brendon sighed.

He just wanted to help even if his hands had been shaking non-stop. It had been a dumb move and he couldn’t argue with Dallon because he was right, plus he was so worried that his fear became anger and Brendon felt guilt about it. He hugged him and he pressed his face against his neck, Dallon hugged him back and he kissed his head, whispering how much he was worried about him and Brendon smiled, closing his eyes and enjoying Dallon’s warmth.

“I’m really sorry Dall,”, he caressed his hair and he tried to shush him with a gentle peck on his forehead, “You know that if you kiss me in this way every damn time that I do something wrong, you aren’t encouraging me to be better.”, Dallon gave him another peck and Brendon smiled dumbly.

“Mh-m, I see.”, Dallon caressed his neck and his hair, he looked at Brendon and he smiled blushing, “I’ll clean the kitchen and you can search some movies on Netflix, maybe.”

“Can you make some pop-corns?”

“Sure.”, Dallon stood up and Brendon did the same, placing a soft kiss on his lips, making Dallon gasp and leaving him confused.

*

Brendon picked The Conjuring as movie and Dallon shrugged, knowing that he was going to spend two hours hiding his face with his hands. He sat down next to the boy and Brendon hugged him and he covered them with a fluffy blanket, resting his head on his shoulders and pushing the “play” button. Dallon shivered and he sighed, Brendon smiled pressing a wet peck on his neck, mumbling that the movie was a good one and that he would have enjoyed it. Dallon wasn’t sure about it, he was the typical horror movies’ lover, he preferred the quiet one and Brendon too, but he had begged Dallon to see it for over two months and he had given up.

Now he was sitting on the couch, having a heart attack because the movie was awful and he didn’t enjoy it as Brendon did. He was looking at his phone, scrolling through is Tumblr’s and Twitter’s timeline, reblogging and resposting few things. He got bored after few minutes and he opened Snapchat, seeing that Brendon was almost mesmerized by that stupid horror movie. He took a snap of him and he added it to his story, starting to drum his fingertips on his stomach, sighing. That movie was going to be the death of him.

Brendon almost screamed during a very scary part and he hid his face against Dallon’s neck, trembling and biting the cloth of his shirt. He stopped the movie and Brendon sighed happily, he started to breathe normally again and Dallon caressed his back, he smiled because finally, _oh gosh finally_ , that terrible thing had ended. He let Brendon snuggle at his side and he yawned tiredly, he saw that the bowl of pop-corn was empty and there was some salt on Brendon’s lips. He smelled like butter though.

Dallon put his right arms over Brendon’s shoulders and the boy smiled, letting his head rest on Dallon’s tights. He tried to question him, but Brendon had closed his eyes and he had fell asleep in few instants. Dallon hummed a song and the boy smiled in his sleep, he started to stroke his hair and his forehead, making him giggle like a baby and his eyelids fluttered, then he just curled on Dallon’s thighs and he grabbed one of his hands, pressing his face on it.

*

Brendon’s behaviour had changed drastically in the past days. He had became more quiet and he had started to go out more and more; Dallon hadn’t had the time to ask him what was wrong, he had studied a lot because he wanted to be prepare for his first year of college. He had noticed that his housemate had been more careful around him and he had noticed that he had been insecure too. Brendon had been happy sometimes, yeah of course, but his smile hadn’t been the same and that had made Dallon sad.

During their usual Sunday breakfast, before Dallon would went to the church, Brendon was silently eating his waffles and drinking his coffee. Dallon took a cup of it and two cookies which his mother had made for them. He finished his food and he said goodbye to Brendon, telling him that he was going to be at home as soon as possible; Brendon groaned and he sighed. Brendon always did it, he knew that he was an atheist but for fuck’s sake, why couldn’t he understand that he believed in God? He was a Mormon and even if he had disobeyed to some rules, he still believed and his faith was important to him. Sometimes he just wanted Brendon to accept him as he was.

**Bren:** _pizza for lunch?_

He sighed and he typed quickly, putting his phone back in his pocket and greeting his parents and siblings with a huge smile. He hugged them and they went into the church, they sat in their usual spot and Dallon sighed, trying to enjoy his time with his family, without thinking about Brendon. He failed miserably and he felt guilty. After the ceremony he excused himself and he went in the restroom, washing his face and his hands, relaxing before lunch with his family. He hoped that his parents wouldn’t asked him if he had found a girlfriend.

*

Brendon was sitting on the couch with his face in his hands. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, he had been almost okay during the past few hours, but after Dallon had gone out he started to feel like a dying animal. He had asked to the boy if they could have pizza for lunch but he received a “ _no, I’m with my family_ ” as answer. He wasn’t angry or disappointed because Dallon wanted to spend a lot of time with his family, he was just sad and he didn’t know the reason why.

He took a pack of chips and he returned in the living room, he sat down on the couch and he spread his legs on it, sighing. His head was aching and his eyes were heavy, he wanted to cry and  he slapped himself mentally, it wasn’t the right moment to be a cry baby and he had to face his life like a man and not as fragile person. Plus the reason why of his breakdown was stupid and meaningless. He was just proving himself that his fears had became true and he was fucked.

Brendon was lying on the floor with his arms under his head, his eyes were wide open and he was staring at the white ceiling. He blinked twice and he hummed a song that Dallon had been singing during the morning. The fact that he was still thinking about what he had been feeling for Dallon in the past few weeks proved him that he was falling for the guy. It scared him because he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to ruin their friendship- _well, kind of_ \- with his stupid feelings. Dallon was an amazing boy and he didn’t think that he could satisfy his friend as boyfriend. Just thinking about them having a romantic relationship made him smile and chuckle..

_God, he was such a baby sometimes._

*  
“ _Bren are you okay?_ ”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“ _Are you sure?_ ”

“Yes Dallon, I’m fine.”, he rubbed his face and he sniffed quietly, “How was the lunch with your family?”

_“It could have been better_.”, he heard a sad note in his voice and Brendon bit his bottom lip.

“When, when will you come back?”

“ _I’m on my way_.”, he closed his eyes and he gulped, feeling a knot in his throat, “ _Hey, pizza for dinner?”_

“Sure.”, he hang up and he sniffed few more times, trying to seem fine and trying to hide his red and watery eyes.

He had cried for a bit, he had had a breakdown and his eyes were still puffy while his mind was still thinking about the fact that his crush for Dallon had evolved and now he was falling in love with him. It hurt, that kind of feeling hurt and he wasn’t ready for it. He was just seventeen he couldn’t be in love with someone, his mom once had told him that teenagers couldn’t love as an adult, he had believed in it but then Dallon had arrived in his life and now he was struggling with his own feelings.

“Bren?”, his head snapped up and he turned off the cold water. He looked at Dallon through the mirror and he watched himself too, seeing that his eyes were liquid and red, again, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”, he mumbled keeping his head low.

“Wait, did you cry?”, Brendon shook his head and he smiled, “What happened?”

“Nothing, trust me.”, he bit his lips and he held a sniff, cursing himself in his mind.

Dallon embraced him from behind, he pressed his chin on his head and he kissed his hair, hugging him tightly and stroking his stomach. Brendon closed his eyes and he grabbed one of his hands, locking their fingers together and he rolled on his back, pressing it against the sink. He gazed Dallon and he got lost in his eyes, his icy blue eyes with that light grey shade in them. They was so beautiful that Brendon wanted to cry, they seemed like two pieces of glass or two small icebergs; he was so lucky because he was able to see them every day.

It was a “now or never” moment, he knew that and he had to do something. He place his arms around his neck and he pushed on his tiptoes, Dallon looked at him with a curious sight and Brendon shivered when he felt his hand on his hips and his hot breath against his lips. He closed his eyes and he murmured and an apology, making their mouths collide and enjoying the moment.

They had kissed before but it had always happened during one of _those_ moments. That time was different, he was keeping his eyes shut and he was tangling his fingers in his hair, biting his lips and feeling Dallon’s tongue pressing against his own lips. The kiss became hotter and hotter, he pressed his whole body against the other and he smiled when Dallon placed one of his hands on his neck, stroking it and rubbing his thumb on his left cheek.

Brendon broke the kiss, he rested his forehead on Dallon’s and he cupped his face, he rubbed their nose together and he smiled. He couldn’t believe that he had kissed him, he couldn’t believe that he had found the guts to do it, he couldn’t believe that Dallon hadn’t pushed him away. His cheeks started to hurt but he didn’t care because Dallon’s hands were on his hair and on his neck. Dallon pecked his nose and Brendon giggled.

“What was that?”, Dallon asked smiling sloppily.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”, he mumbled without looking at him in the eyes, “I, I understand if you don’t feel the same.”

“Hey, do you remember when I told you that I didn’t want to continue our... well, you know?”, Brendon nodded, “I wanted it to stop because I was falling for you, you dumb dumb.”

Brendon kissed him again and again, he was dying on those lips and his heart was bumping in his ears, surrounding everything around them. Dallon's mouth was the softest thing in the world and his taste was flawless; he could die for it. He didn't care about anything else in that moment, he only cared about their lips together, their eyes closed and their smiles. Dallon's hands were in his air and on his neck, they were a little bit sweaty but he perfectly understood what Dallon was feeling in that moment. It was the same for him, even if he seemed as calm as a dead body.

He kissed him once more and he broke apart, he giggle a bit and he caressed his face with his digits, making Dallon shiver under his touch. His eyelids fluttered few times and Brendon thought that he was admiring a damn God or something. His skin was smooth and perfectly pale; his icy blue eyes were looking at him with a bright like in them; his cheeks were almost red and his lips were wet and rosy. He passed a hand through his hair and Dallon smiled, rubbing his thumbs on his neck and tickling his jaw, making Brendon giggle and he curled his nose like a baby.

He stayed silent and he just looked at the handsome boy in front of him, Brendon couldn't believe that he had found the guts to do that, he couldn't believe that he was holding that piece of art, he couldn't believe that those icy blue eyes were shining because of him. He wanted to scream how fucking much he had waited for it, he knew that Dallon had been expecting that for almost six months so he just kept his mouth close, smiling.

He didn't know for how long they stayed in that position, his back had started to hurt few minutes before but he didn't want to let go Dallon's body.

"Bren my legs hurt.", Dallon and his perfect way to ruin a sweet moment. He laughed a bit and he shook his head, removing his arms from around his neck, "Once more.", Brendon looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed, Dallon place another quick kiss on his lips and he smiled again, starting to step away from him, "Wait, another one.", he kissed his cheeks this time, Brendon blushed and he hid his eyes with his right hand, "Another.", Brendon felt Dallon's lip on his temple and he shivered because that guy was too much.

"Are you done?", he whispered shyly.

"Maybe.", he peppered his neck with dry kissed and Brendon hissed quietly, "You're just too sweet.", he placed one final kiss on his nose leaving Brendon in the living room. He had smiled for the whole time and his cheeks hurt; he couldn't be happier.

Dallon prepared their coffees and he heard Brendon sang from the living room. He was covering “Bohemian Rhapsody” and Dallon shivered because he was amazing. He walked in the living room and he saw Brendon on the couch, he was smiling and he was holding the remote, Dallon sat down next to him and he place a cup in front of the boy, Brendon thanked him with a sloppy kiss and he cupped his face.

“Thank you.”, he whispered on his lips again.

Dallon smiled and he kissed his nose, Brendon chuckled and he passed a hand through his fluffy hair, pulling it a bit and hearing Dallon sighing happily. He was a little bit worried because he didn’t asked him if he wanted to be his boyfriend yet, he hoped for the best. That moment wasn’t the right one though, Brendon was playing like an idiot with some X-Box game and he was too focused on it, even if he was sitting between his legs and his back was resting on his chest.

Brendon smelled like cotton candy, Dallon nuzzled his neck and the boy shuddered, leaning towards him and pressing his head against his shoulders. He touched his stomach and Brendon giggled, letting the controller fall on the floor. He turned his head to Dallon and he kissed his chin, his jaw and his cheeks, throwing an arm around his neck and pulling him nearer. He let a small “humpf” out when Dallon stroked his back. He was so soft with him and Brendon couldn’t have enough of him.

“You taste like coffee.”, he muttered on his lips, breathing on it and gulping because _damn!, Dallon’s eyes should be illegal,_ “You are so beautiful, have I ever told you that?”, he shook his head without stopping to stroke my back  and my neck, “Well, you are.”, he blushed and Brendon leaned on, “Such a pretty, pretty boy.”

“Please tell me that you don’t have a daddy kink.”, he said laughing and making Brendon’s cheeks go red as a tomato, “By the way, you’re the gorgeous one.”, Brendon shook his head and they kept arguing about who was the pretty one, ending with a hot making out session. Brendon was sat on Dallon’s lap, his legs were wrapped around his back and his hands were tangled in his hair.

“I was thinking,”, Brendon muttered with his eyes closed and his mouth place on Dallon’s neck, “would you like to be my boyfriend? Officially, I mean.”

Dallon smiled and he locked their eyes together, making Brendon shudder: “I’d love that.”, he smiled with a cute pair of rose cheeks and Brendon chuckled, caressing them, “Such a romantic way to ask that, with that awful videogame on.”

They both laughed and Brendon hugged him tightly, hiding his face in his hair and holding tears of joy. His life was starting to get better because he had Dallon with him, this time for real.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, well hello again.   
> How was it? Was it good/ naah/ awful? I'd like to know.  
> Anyway, I hope it was decent.   
> If you wanna send me prompts or what you want, you can find me on:  
> Tumblr: the-motionless-protest  
> Kik: heavydirtypen  
> Instagram: the.motionless.protest  
> Twitter: heavydirtypen
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> And well, see you soon!


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